Wednesday, August 4, 2010

If Brett Favre isn't retired, then I will retire from Brett Favre

I remember exactly where I was the first day that Brett Favre retired from the Green Bay Packers. 

Not from football exactly, but as it turned out just from the Packers, as this moment would become the first in a long series of quote unquote retirements from the ol' gunslinger, as everyone likes to call him. On that fateful March day, I was covering the La Crosse Aquinas Blugolds basketball team as they were taking part in the state tournament at the Kohl Center in Madison, but my attention was quickly averted to the television in the press area under the stadium. By the time word spread of what was unfolding, at least fifty some press pass wearing individuals were watching Favre trying to keep his tears off of his buttoned-up blue shirt. While the details of that day still remain quite vivid, what I remember most was how much emotion I felt that day, and how sad I was to see my hero walk away.

How quickly things change.

We all know the details of what happened since then. Favre started to get that infamous itch, and then "something was bound to happen". He tried to come back to Green Bay, but Teddy Thompson made his best move to date and shipped him to the Jets. Favre had a successful twelve weeks in New York but then collapsed and the Jets missed the playoffs. He retired again. Next thing you know, Favre was a Purple People Eater and the Vikings led by Favre were beating the Packers at Lambeau Field. Favre took his new team on a clear path to the Super Bowl, threw a terrible pick for no reason against the Saints, and then went into offseason number six where his main objective was to be as coy as possible about his future. Hell, remember the season in 2005 where the Pack went 4-12? I did whatever I could to get to Lambeau for the last game of the season because I thought that was Favre's last game. Clearly, I was fooled. As were we all.

It's easy to see though that the last two years have been quite tumultuous in the life of Brett Favre, and thus so have the lives of anyone that considered/considers themselves a Brett Favre fan. I always like to contend that I was amongst the most diehard of the bunch, owning as much Favre memorabilia as I could get my hands on with my most prized possession being the football he signed for me when I met him at the age of twelve. About two weeks before he ended up "retiring" from the Packers (and I truly believe no word has been used within the context of quotes as the word retirement as when pertaining to Brett Favre), I nearly bought a personalized red training camp jersey with the number four on both sides and the inscription of "GOD" on the back. This guy was my idol, there were no two ways around it.

But now, on the day that he has apparently decided to retire from the NFL for good after 19 years in the league, I feel nothing. My brother text me "No more Favre!" about twenty minutes after the news came down that he was to inform the Vikings he was calling it quits, but for some reason I didn't feel the same joy that I thought I would to see this man finally out of the league. When I came home for lunch, I turned on the 1pm SportsCenter as per usual and even though it was wall-to-wall Favre coverage, I didn't throw a temper tantrum as I had done anytime the network even mentioned his name in the last year. I realized then and there that it didn't and therefore doesn't matter to me anymore whether this man plays another NFL down again. When it comes to Brett Favre, my idol and hero for 16 years, I can honestly say that I just don't give a shit about him anymore (remember, I swear now on this blog. Hey, if Kenny can toss out a "bullshit" out of nowhere on TBS's My Boys, then I can take a little liberty to swear on this half-assed site as well).

The indifference could be because of the fact that I'm not entirely sure that Favre has even retired, but more on that in a moment. What I think is really driving my lack of caring about anything Favre related is that I'm just drained out by it all. Looking back on things, last year was an exhausting year for us Favre haters. First, we had to deal with all the so-called Packers fans that liked Favre enough to bolt the Packer bandwagon and head on over to Minnesota's. Lame. Then, we had to watch how Favre beat the Packers not once, but twice during the regular season, both in heartbreaking fashion. After all that, it finally became clear that Brett Favre was actually going to be taking the Minnesota Vikings to a Super Bowl until he threw arguably the worst interception of his career and gave the Saints a free birth to the championship. With that said, I still maintain that the fact that I am right now wearing the Saints NFC Championship shirt that I ordered five minutes after that interception happened is purely coincidence.
Honestly though, who is this decision really affecting anymore? The best part of this whole breaking news today is that I'm not even sure anyone believes it. Members of the Packers and the Bears and hell, anyone else throughout the NFL that was asked about the news on Tuesday spoke out about how they won't believe it until they see Favre's name isn't in the starting lineup before they play him. 

ProFootballTalk is flat out convinced that Favre will be in a Vikings uniform this season, and even the anchors on ESPN where skeptical when they were showing basically the same interviews and highlights regarding Favre's retirement that they have been showing for the past two offseasons. I can't believe how much coverage Favre did receive on Tuesday about retiring even though we never heard straight from the man himself, but something tells me that is exactly the kind of thing that makes Favre tick.

Who's not to say that a few days from now, or hell, even twelve minutes after this is posted, that Favre won't hold a press conference to dispute all the speculation that he is retiring. Can't you see it now? Well golly gee, I didn't never know what all this fuss was about. I was just out on the farm picking some good ol' strawberries all day, and I get home to my portable phone and see all these text messages about retirement. I didn't say nothing to nobody, guess it was just a misunderstanding. I'm still waiting to see how my ankle feels, might throw a little ball with the high school lads this afternoon. I can't say I've made up my mind, it's too early for that. I wish I knew, I just don't know. Favre is retiring apparently, but we never heard Favre say that yet, and that has me believing that come that first game against the Saints, Favre will be under center and this will just be another wasted day in the lives of anyone that follows football.

Honestly though, right now. You. Do you feel like Favre is retired? If you do, can you honestly say 100 percent that is the case? Because I can't. I really think that because we haven't heard anything remotely close to Favre or even his agent, we can't take this seriously. If you look at every fantasy draft board out there, Favre is still going in the fourth or fifth round. The Vikings are still a good bet to head to the Super Bowl this season, and Tavaris Jackson still doesn't think he'll be taking the first snap on Thursday night of week one. Favre's whole motivation these last few offseasons has been to skip training camp and get a few snaps in before the season starts, and I don't see him changing his tune this season. I do feel though that Favre will be starting against New Orleans week one, and we'll all just laugh about this pseudo retirement come that night.

In the end though, I don't care if he's taking snaps that game. I also don't care if he's sitting at home watching the contest on his big screen television that night. Nor do I care if he chooses to sit out with the Vikings but then joins a team after their starting quarterback goes down in week three. No matter what Favre does this season, I just don't care. And I think that's actually why I'm happy about all the news or fake news that has been reported on Tuesday. Because whether he stays or whether he goes, I just don't care anymore. And not caring about Brett Favre, while something I never thought would be possible, is something that I have no problem with.

Come back, don't come back, I just don't care anymore.

Oh, how quickly things change.


James said...

You hit Louie right on the head, great filler until Sunny.. But definetly one of my new summer favorites.

jamool said...

Check Deadspin again...yep it involves cock pictures

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