Monday, November 1, 2010

Our Interview with Randy Moss

The Bucky Channel: Randy, thanks so much for agreeing to this. I know it's been a trying season for you thus far. Would you like a drink?

Randy Moss: ...

TBC: (Shouting to assistant: Dammit, can't you see the man is parched? Get some water over here!) So Randy, can I call you Randy? There is a report that you've been waived by the Vikings. Can you either confirm or deny that report? I've not seen or heard about any comments from you in the last 36 hours so I'm kind of flying into this interview a little half cocked. Get it...half cocked...because of Brett Favre...and...you know?

RM: ...

TBC: I'll take that as a no...on both accounts. Are you at least enjoying your water?

RM: ...

TBC: (Off stage again: Christ, can't you see the man prefers Diet Rite? Get a 2 liter, stat...and some Mr. Pibb for me!) Hard to find competent employees, am I right?

RM: ...

TBC: Yeah...ok, well, do you have any plans or have you heard from any teams if you have, in fact, been waived?

RM: ...

TBC: You shifted in your seat there...did you...I'll take that as a no comment. I thought you were going to say something but you yawned so... I understand though. It's tough with all that's happened lately. Let me ask you this, do you think Tony Kornheiser and Brad Childress are the same person?

RM: ...

TBC: Not even a fucking smile, huh? Well, this was fruitless. Let me ask you this one last thing. If you end up playing for the Omaha Nighthawks, will your stats still count towards my fantasy football team?

RM: ...

TBC: Ah...thanks for the insight. Enjoyed it.

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