Your Midseason Fantasy Baseball Update

Fuck you Mauer. Sorry, but I pinned my hopes and dreams on you and then your legs went out due to some sort of combination of mono, syphilis and dick-breath. On top of that...look at all that garbage in your fridge. Hopefully that illness taught him to drink that OJ straight instead of mixing it with a bottle of vodka before each game.

If you can't tell...my team sucked goat dong in the first half (9 of 10) and there's no reason to believe they won't continue blowing those goats for the remainder of the season. I meant to have more updates but was waiting for my team to turn it around which obviously never happened.

Anyway, here you heathens. Bask in my misery and my apologies to James...the only one worse than myself.

1. Rochester, MN BADGERS_XII (Ray Richetta)
2. NFDL Gweeds (Gweedo)
3. Winks Drinks (NL)
4. Straight Brims (Tony Brown)
5. Madison Boats 'n Ho's (Anonymous a.k.a. The Smart One)
6. Team Darkshner (Eddie Sheppard)
7. YouGotThePoison IGotTheRemetee (Chad)
8. A.M. Lumber (Tony Meidl)
9. Turtle's Trollops (Turtle)
10. The High Road (James)

Ugh...I'm disgusted now.

Enjoy the All-Star Game...and the second half of your 2011 MLB season.

I promise more updates as the playoff chase heats up.