Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Top Ten Teams I Hate in Sports

All I could think about all week after the Packers crushing loss was how I much I hated the Giants. I hate them. I HATE THEM! Grrrrr I hate the Giants Ahhhhhh! So I wondered, just how much do I hate the Giants? Do I really hate them as much as all the other teams I can't stand in sports? Or was I just temporarily mad at them for what they did to the Packers? Well, I hate them, I do, but they are nowhere close to the top ten.

Honorable Mentions: Boston Red Sox (MLB), Minnesota Golden Gophers (NCAA), Cincinnati Reds (MLB), Oshkosh West (FVA), BYU (NCAA), Iowa Hawkeyes (NCAA), New York Giants (NFL), Seattle Seahawks (NFL), St. Louis Cardinals (MLB), Illinois Fighting Illini (NCAA), Notre Dame Fighting Irish (NCAA)

10. Houston Astros (MLB)

You'll notice that much of my hatred comes from division rivals of my beloved Wisconsin teams. The Astros make it over the Reds and Cardinals for a few reasons. The most exposure I've had of this team was in 2005 when they won the NL pennant. I hated everyone on that team. Everyone on that team was either small and skinny (Craig Biggio, Adam Everett, Chris Burke) or fatly athletic (Jason Lane, Mike Lamb, Roger Clemens, Lance Berkman). Also, Minute Maid Park is a joke. These moderns baseball stadiums all have their quirks like whatever that damn hill is called, just because they want to be a stadium that has a quirk, or an identifying feature. How in the world does baseball let that continue, there's no way that is safe. Another reason is I'll never forget Aaron Levine from Dream Job Season 1 on ESPN do a story on the "Killer E's", Everett and Ensberg. I didn't like Levine ergo I don't like the Killer E's. They'd be higher on this list if I didn't like Hunter Pence so much.

9. Pittsburgh Pirates (MLB)

We're going to stay in the NL Central a little longer, and talk about the Pirates. Why should I hate the Pirates when they haven't been good since Andy Van Slyke? Well, that's exactly why I hate them, because no matter how bad they are, they still beat the Brewers consistently. And it seems every time we need a win, we have to play Pittsburgh, and they beat us. Like when we're trying for our first winning season in 2005 but we stall against the Pirates on the final weekend. And I've always had something against the colors yellow and black. I think it goes back to my junior high days when my crosstown rival in Fond du Lac, WI, Theisen Junior High, had those colors. The nice thing about them as a Pittsburgh fan is that you can wear any one of your favorite team's jerseys for any team in that city and not stick out in the crowd. And oh yeah, Randall Simon.

8. Philadelphia Eagles (NFL)

This one is sad for me. After visiting Philly in 2002, I fell in love with the Eagles. They were playing the Bears in a divisional round playoff game that weekend, and I got swept up in Eagles fever. I bought a Donovan McNabb jersey shirt. I asked for his bobblehead for Christmas. For some reason, I thought the world of McNabb, and rooted for the Eagles every week unless they were playing the Packers. But then 4th and 26 happened. Then the T.O. drama, and the Eagles being the entire focus of the 5pm Sportscenter happened. Then McNabb quitting during the final drive of the Super Bowl happened. Then Rush Limbaugh was right (maybe not about all black quarterbacks, but at least about McNabb). I can't stand them. If you don't believe me, ask the McNabb bobblehead I stomped on years ago.

7. Washington Nationals (MLB)

This one is the most random and probably most misguided hatred of any team on this list, but the hate is there nonetheless. The Nationals are the kid in class that I sits three chairs down from me, and even though I barely know him, everything about him bothers me. Maybe it's because I'm jealous of him, or maybe he's a little too much like me, or maybe I just don't agree with anything he does. Either way, I know I don't like him. If we were at a party one night, we'd probably end up being good friends, but no way I'm letting that happen, at least not until after we graduate. Anyways, besides that terrible argument of why I hate a team, it really comes down to two reasons. When the Nationals started playing, not only did everyone buy their hat, but they all wore it with a flat brim. What? That, and they have the same font as the Brewers did during the mind 90's on their uniforms. I hated those Brewer jerseys more than anything, especially I got in a car accident while wearing a hat with the MB diamond logo. I'll never wear anything with that Brewers logo again, and just the sight of the Nationals reminds me of Jeff D'Amico and those awful Brewers teams.

6. Detroit Lions (NFL)

We'll see more NFC North teams as we continue, you can be sure about that, but the Lions are the first to make it on the list. I never really hate the Lions, they always suck and Barry Sanders was fun to watch. But, like the Pirates, I just hate when we lose to them. If you asked a Packers fan to name the worst loss to the Lions, I bet 90 percent of them would say the loss on Thanksgiving where Dre Bly owned us and they were wearing their throwbacks. Thanksgiving games are always tough, because they can really ruin your holiday if you lose. Packers / Lions doesn't have the edge that the Vikings and Bears rivalries do, but that might change when they are good again (if?).

5. Philadelphia 76ers (NBA)

The second Philly team but the only NBA team to make the list. Well, they haven't got any press on the blog yet, but naturally the Bucks are my favorite NBA team. Save your condolences. None of the Bucks divisional rivals make this list, not even the Pacers, who destroyed us for three straight years in the playoffs. But the Sixers make it because they ended the only legitimate shot the Bucks had at the title in my lifetime. You remember the 2001 team with Big Dog, Ray Ray, and Sam. The one that got knocked out of the playoffs by Rodney Rodgers, and a missed Glenn Robinson jump shot. The one that would have given the Lakers a much better run for their money than the Sixers did. So, for that series only, the Sixers make it all the way to five. That's a lot of staying power for something that happened seven years ago. And even though they are similar to the Giants, in the way which they beat a team I love, my hatred for Eric Snow helped them earn and keep the five spot warm and cozy.

4. Dallas Cowboys (NFL)

All the teams before Dallas I'd classify in the third tier of my hatred. The Cowboys are alone in the second tier. My hate for this team was at it's high point in the mid-90's, when the road for every Packers season ended in Irving, Texas. Those teams were unstoppable, and they owned Favre and the rest of the Packers. Most of the games they'd let us hang around, just to knock us out in the 4th quarter. I can't tell you how sick I was of watching the Packers lose there year after year. And the regular season games were never good, either. Even if the Pack held them to just field goals, they found a way to get seven of them and beat us 21-6 by the leg of Chris Boniol. Talk about Thanksgiving Day losses, how about the one to Jason Garrett? The 37-27 loss to them this year on the NFL network didn't help much either. And I think the Packers would have been able to beat Dallas in Dallas this season, which makes me hate them for losing to the Giants, however odd that seems.

3. Chicago Bears (NFL)

Welcome to The Big Three. As you could have guessed, the top three teams will all be division rivals, and they will all come from bordering states. The Bears used to be at the top of this list, and I still think I hate losing to the Bears more than any other team, just because of how much Bears fans are idiots. You think Packer fans are lame for hanging on to 1996 all the time, the entire city of Chicago still pretends it's 1985. Well, in 2008, Ditka is doing erectile dysfunction commercials, the Fridge is selling is autograph at car shows, and McMahon has won a Super Bowl with Green Bay. Time to move on. What I hate about the Bears teams of late is that they aren't good at all, yet they find ways to win. The Bears don't have a winning season in the last ten years if Mike Brown and Devin Hester don't play football. But the reason I think I hate the Bears and our next team so much is because, had I been born in a different state, grew up somewhere else, I could easily see myself liking them. Don't hate me for saying that, you know it's true. The Bears do get thank you points however for George Halas helping keep the Packers around in the 1920's.

2. Chicago Cubs (MLB)

The Cubs have been skyrocketing up this list for the last few years. I gotta admit, this is another team on here that I used to like. Who didn't though? Before the days of every baseball game on TV, the Cubs were the team to watch on WGN. They had great announcers, they always played games during the day, why wouldn't you watch them? Well, then the strike happened, and then the Brewers switched leagues, and at first the Cubs / Brewers rivalry was like the Brewers saying, "Well, we need a rivalry, and the Cubs are close. Let's hate them." And everyone went along with it. But then words like "Wrigley North" started to get thrown around, and Cubs fans started invading Miller Park. It was terrible. Cubs fans are trendy, and they turn on their team too quickly. Aramis Ramirez and Carlos Zambrano are the two guys I hate the most in all of baseball. And if Mark Cuban ever did become owner of that team, it would be over. We would never have a shot at winning the NL Central, with all that money flying around. Wrigley Field is great, and I love the city of Chicago, but the Cubs are everything that is wrong with baseball, in my opinion. BY THE WAY, are we over the Steve Bartman thing yet? Have Cubs fans not realized that a) ten other fans were going for that ball, and b) Alex Gonzalez sucks. And this Billy Goat curse is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Why does everything have to be a curse when you lose for 80 years. Why can't you just admit you either suck or couldn't win the big one? Can anyone else sense the mixture of me trying to finish this column and my hatred for the Cubs? When Bob Uecker sings the 7th inning stretch, you don't boo him! I need to breathe. This is pure hate coming out of my fingers right now.

1. Minnesota Vikings (NFL)

I don't know if I have enough left after my Cubs freak out. The difference here though is there is no way I could have ever envisioned myself being a Vikings fan. When I think of Vikings fans, I think of college girls running into my dorm when the Vikings beat the Packers screaming at the top of their lungs just to annoy me when they don't even like sports. I think of how you never see a Vikings, Wild, or Twins jersey unless they are winning (although girls in Twins shirts are hot). I think of that damn horn that goes off on first downs. I think of the Metrodome being the worst venue in sports. Living on the border of Wisconsin and Minnesota has definitely contributed to this rankings, as did the fact I would choose the Packers over the Brewers (only with a gun pointed to my head, of course), and therefore I must chose their rival. I would rather see the Cubs win the World Series than the Vikings win the Super Bowl, that's for sure. Vikings fans and Packers fans have a lot in common, mainly that we both think we are better than the other. But now we have another thing in common, a heartbreaking loss at home in the NFC Championship. In overtime. When we were both the hands down favorites. When the Falcons beat the Vikings that year, I've never rooted harder against a team in my life. And when the Giants beat Green Bay to go to the Super Bowl, my first thought was that every Vikings fan in Minnesota is on the phone right now calling each other about how happy they are. And I hate them for that. But you know what? The Giants gave them that joy! You know what, maybe the Giants should have been on this list.

Agree? Disagree? Really, really disagree? Discuss in the comments, won't you?


Anonymous said...

Can't fault the Giants for our team playing like shit against them. Eli might be top 10 least favorite players, but the Giants dont make the cut yet.

1. Vikings
2. Bears
3. Cubs
4. Cowboys
5. Red Sox
6. Patriots (even though I want them to win the Super Bowl, screw Boston fans who didnt even know they had a football team until they won a Super Bowl.
7. Pistons
8. Lions
9. Bulls (even though I bandwagoned the Jordan era when I was too young to know any better)
10. Cardinals (Stl[baseball])

Also noticed O West on the list but no Neenah since some of your LAX buds are from there, even though Im sure you hated Neenah more back in the day.

Anonymous said...

jesus ive missed alot.... over the last couple days...

sorry man, i just cant get into your bracket. But this was a pleasent surprise.

my top 10, i seriously root hard against these teams, as much as for my faves.

1. Astros (an astros loss is a win for me)
2. Patriots
3. Vikings
4. Cowboys
5. Seahawks
6. Cubs
7. Nuggets (nothing good about anyone on that team)
8. Illinois Illini (any sport)
9. Red Sox
10. Yankees

I cant believe you put the pirates on there. I love the pirates, i liked them when they were good, and i like it now that they are bad. I do agree that they seem to have the Brewers number... but really thats only at PNC park. And i cant hate the giants for beating us, we didnt deserve to win that game.

Podcasts... come on you are blog savvy figure out how to record these and get them on here.

Anonymous said...

ha, damn i didnt even think of high school teams.... If i did list any, which i wouldnt really anymore, i despise everything about Oshkosh North, and was never a fan of Neenah, but funny how that changes when you actually get to know people from there.

Anonymous said...

yea super bowl super bowl is almost harder to watch than the real one will be. bring back nfln vs espn!

Anonymous said...

my picks for the top 10 teams i hate. man this is hard but i guess i have to dig deep in my heart to find the teams i really dont like.

10. Seahawks
9. Vikings
8. Pistons
7. Cardinals(mlb)
6. Giants (mlb)
5. Eagles
4. Colts/Giants aka the mannings
3. The big ten (ncaa bball)
2. Da Bears
1. Da Cubs

We need your top ten team in sports. I want this to be painful for you because you are going to have to pick a wisconsin team over the other. I guess the pack will be number 1 but how the will the others rank i am waiting for this top ten list.

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