Monday, March 3, 2008

We're Ready for You, Sports Guy

"Besides, do you really think someone can save the Bucks in any conventional way? Puh-leeeze. It's time for a change, Milwaukee. Your hoops team hasn't mattered in 20 years. You haven't cared this entire decade. You need a fresh voice. You need passion. You need me. So vote Simmons in 2008. Yes We Can!" - Bill Simmons, February 2008

It started as a throwaway joke in one of his columns. It turned into a few dozen emails from Bucks fans begging him to do it. It progressed into a column / full out campaign for the job, which in turn created buzz and backlash from assorted members of the blogosphere. Well Sports Guy, we've heard you loud and clear. And while it may turn out to be a horrible disaster, most of us dont care. We're ready for you to be the next General Manager of the Milwaukee Bucks.

Yes, You Can.

First Bill, let me just say that being a Bucks fan has been an interesting journey for me. I've followed them closely all my life, but they fall well behind the Packers and Brewers in the minds of many Wisconsin sports fans. Sure, we root for them during the long winter months, but when they make their annual first round playoff exit (if they get that far), we're already wrapped up in baseball season. They are the proverbial third wheel at the dinner table of professional sports in Wisconsin.

I grew up on the likes of Todd Day, Eric Murdock, and the rest of the interchangeables for the purple and green. I still remember the day I found out the Bucks actually won the NBA title once, and even more amazed when I found out we once had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I lived through the Chris Ford and Mike Dunleavy eras, watched us continually fall to the Pacers in the playoffs, suffered heartbreak when Glenn Robinson missed a 12 footer in the '01 Eastern Conference Finals, and witnessed George Karl implode the team in the mid-9o's. The last few years have been discouraging with Terry Porter, Terry Stotts, and Larry Alphabet, and it's hard to root for a team when Mo Williams is the starting point guard. It's been difficult, to say the least.

Now Bill, if you are going to give this a shot, you have to know something about Bucks fans. Even though he has a terrible basketball sense, and is clueless about what's happening on the court in front of him sometimes, you have to realize that Bucks fans love Herb Kohl. We need him. Without Herb taking a stand a few years ago, we'd most likely be in the exact same situation the Sonics are right now. Herb is the only thing keeping the Bucks in Milwaukee. But as much as we love him, he can't keep doing the same thing year after year. If Kohl was Jim Halpert, Ernie Grunfeld and Larry Harris would be his ham and cheese sandwhiches. Not to compare you to a tuna sandwhich Sports Guy, but we're convinced you're the change Herb needs. Milwaukee needs you to be it's Big Tuna.

Let's take a look at the positives. You've said it yourself, you have the patience and the common sense it takes to be an NBA General Manager. We'd be watching CP3 instead of CV31 if you had been here three years ago. You're one of the only die-hard NBA fans left, at least in this country. And most famously, you've worked the ESPN Trade Machine so hard, you know the numbers, contracts, and conditions of some teams better their their own GM's. I'd be hard pressed to find another person that would work as hard and care as much about his job as you would in the role of Bucks GM. It may be a little unconvential, hiring a sportswriter as a professional General Manager. But if sports movies are any indication, where I've seen a 12 year old kid can pitch for the Cubs, an obsessed fan take over and coach the Knicks, and a garbage picker become a field goal kicking Philadelphia phenomenon, well then a sportswriter can surely take the reins as General Manager of the Milwaukee Bucks. (That, and the Sports Girl, Son, and Daughter would feel right at home in Brew City)

Understand though Bill, that it may not be as easy as you think. Like the guy at Awful Announcing says, you might have a hard time finding teams that will trade with you, no matter how persistent you are. And according to the guy at The Bratwurst, if it were up to you, we'd have Emeka Okafor over Dwight Howard, and Jay Williams over Yao Ming. Plus, I know some fans are worried about your Boston ties (ps I need to mention to every one of my friends that say they love Bill Simmons but don't read the Boston-themed articles, I dont believe you. You read them for the Real World references just like I do. And if it wasn't for his Boston bias, my fantasy teams would never have included an '06 Jonathan Paplebon and an '07 Wes Welker). But we'd be a little suspect if you ever pulled off a move with them.

But the underlying point in all this Mr. Sports Guy is that you're right. It is time for a change. We haven't mattered in over 20 years, and minus a captivating 2001 season, we really haven't cared. We need a fresh voice, we need passion, and that is you. It may have started as a joke, and a few dozen emails later turned into a mini-campaign, but there's no looking back now, Sports Guy. You've got the entire state of Wisconsin buzzing about Bucks basketball, and that hasn't happened since Larry Costello was roaming the sidelines. We're ready for you Bill, and the time is now. With you, we can make the Bucks exciting again. We can make the Bucks relevant again. We can watch the Bucks win again.

Oh, Yes We Can.


Anonymous said...

speak for yourself about not caring. that was the one thing that bugged me about the simmons article was saying that nobody cared. just like nobody cared about the patriots until the started winning?

Anonymous said...

until they started winning. they. they. they. they. they.

Craig Nolen said...


Anonymous said...

Yeah right, if you were to ask any sportswriter in the country if they could do a better job of running a team, they all would say yes but that doesnt mean what they claim will do will go as plan because this isn't a movie with a happy ending. I agree with b2 about the "nobody cares" part, Bill Simmons doesn't speak for the Bucks fan, he's just some guy who gets paid for his opinion.

Anonymous said...

At first I thought, "Only the diehards care." Then I remebered the insane step back three at the buzzer from Mr. Redd. I'm not from Wisconson nor have I ever been there...but those fans at THAT game seemed to care a whole lot. It looked like a playoff win from the highlights. I think Willie Simmons is just tryin to get the jucies flowin. He is using the charm of a poorman's Barack Obama right down to the slogan.

I'm for Simmons anyways. Yes he can!

Ant said...


Anonymous said...

I say, give him an interview! What is there to lose? Herb's thought outside the proverbial box in the past. Why not now? Let's start the chant now people: Let him interview! Let him interview!.....

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