Saturday, April 12, 2008

As My Mother Would Say, "TMI"

I understand why teams are required to share the injuries that are bothering their players. The fans should know who's taking the field, the opposing team should be aware of who they are playing against, and most importantly, fantasy owners need to know if their guy will be healthy enough to take the field. Honestly though, I think all we really need to know is the general area of injury, and how long the guy will be out. Some of these recent injury reports are, as my mom always says, "TMI! TMI!" Or, too much information.

I bring this up because of Mo Williams the other night. I noticed he was inactive for the night and wondered what was wrong with him. Well folks, Mo didn't sit out with a knee or ankle injury. It wasn't even because of a fever or the flu. It was because he had a stint of pubic symphysitis. As a friend of mine suggested, it sounds like Mo has an STD of some kind. According to Williams himself, he says all he knows is that he's had stomach pains for about a month. Instead of making the world think Mo Williams is having unsafe sex, why not just tell us he has a groin or stomach injury. How crucial is it we know he has pubic symphysitis? Again, TMI.

There have been other examples of this recently as well. For instance, while doing some research during spring training, I came across an injury Chicago Cub Felix Pie was experiencing. The Cubs website listed him as having a twisted testicle, or more accurately, Testicular Torsion. In fact, when I told my Cubs fan buddy about the injury, he thought I was joking. I'm not sure why a groin injury wouldn't have been sufficient. You know it, TMI.

Kaz Matsui recently came down with an injury as well, and it affected another friend of mine who has him on his fantasy team. Naturally you want to know why your guy is hurt, but I don't think he was expected to find out Matsui had an anal fissure. In case you were wondering, an anal fissure is common in women after childbirth,; following excessive anal intercourse; after difficult bowel movements; and in infants following constipation. Um Kaz, is there something you want to tell us? Once again, that might be a little TMI.

I guess what I'm saying is that while injury reports are helpful and needed in today's game, they have perhaps become a little too descriptive. How do we feel for guys like Mo, Felix, and Kaz. Their awkward injuries are easily available for the entire world to know. Think about it, if you had an anal fissure, would you want some obscure guy in Wisconsin blogging about it.

I can hear my mom say it now. TMI!


Winks said...

You know, I found that image under "sports injury", but the more I look at it, the more I just think he's stretching.

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